"Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to God, one of these days, I just kick this piece of shit out the window."

I woke up this morning and there was about 2 more inches of snow on the ground. Why?? What the hell?? This shitty white stuff needs to stop.

This is what I hate


And this


Now you may ask, "Hey KP why don't you stop being such a dummy and move someplace warm?"

Well, my response is "I have a career thing started in this hell hole and I can't get out of it."

So I have spent most of the morning trying to figure out some new career options for myself as well as for Stef.

These are the job openings I have found that seem promising:


LUXURY HOME CLEANER (WEST MAUI)
Working at West Maui's luxury homes.
Experience picking up after rich people is a plus, but we will train you if you are a responsible, reliable person. Just don't steal.


+++Spiritual Caregiver+++ (GUAM)
Former exiled flamboyant Head-of-State seeks Spiritual Caregiver for longterm metaphysical relationship. Duties to include: sensual mental abuse, wanton disregard for personal space, and virtual cyber-bathing (only as needed). SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY! Compensation: VERY LUCRATIVE


Pest Control Route Manager (Cayman Islands)
If you have 3-5 years experience as a Pest Control Technician, or just want a job where you aren’t stuck in a cubicle all day, this is the job for you.

These were totally legit job postings on craigslist. NO JOKE!