Someone with chest hair and perfectly coifed locks who sings like a god…
Play it now
Play it now, my baby
Cracklin rosie, make me a smile
Girl if it lasts for an hour, thats al right
We got all night
To set the world right
Find us a dream that dont ask no questions, yeah
The Grammy’s new what would make the ladies wiggle in their seats, the Academy could learn a thing or two!
Here are a few myths about Neil that Stef heard which only seem to make him cooler somehow…
o When he is in town, and he doesn’t know you personally, you are not to look Mr. Neil Diamond in the eye. He isn’t as bad as Prince, but he doesn’t want you all looking at him either. He’s just a man, folks.
o He wants his water at 27 degrees Fahrenheit. Not 26, not 31. God help you if that shit is room temperature.
o He must have fresh baked goods delivered to his room every hour on the hour as long as he is in town. Muffins! Now!
o He requires a whole floor to himself for a dressing room. He allows the band and crew a floor as well, but his must be on top because no one is above Neil Diamond
o He may be the Jewish Elvis, but he still leaves decent tips. And by decent I mean he’ll allow you to live as long as you don’t fuck up the modest 7,000 items demanded on his rider.
o Neil once starred in a film with Sir Lawrence Olivier (that’s Hamlet, to you) called “The Jazz Singer” in 1980 that was a re-make of an old Al Jolson film from the 20’s. Except instead of a black man crooning his way into the predominantly white world of high-end entertainment, he was a Jew breaking into the (predominantly Jewish…?) world of show business. Dude, that’s like, deep.
o Neil Diamond taught Chuck Norris everything that he knows.
4 comments:
but how did you get ahold of his rider? you better hope that he doesn't send people after you for stealing his secrets!
Water at 27 degrees Fahrenheit is called ice.
Exactly Bubba...the impossible!!
In regards to the water thing, I think "Whatever Neil wanteth, Neil freaking Gettith" is one of the commandments. Like the -1st or something. Seriously? Him and the lord are like this (jams fingers together in a wiggly, fingery ball). He doesn't want his water cold, he wants it COLD. Colder than the laws of physics. Now that's what I call clout.
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