In the beginning...

Ok first of all, I know what you’re thinking and before you write this off as just another two chicks who feel like their opinions are so important and so relevant that they need to put them up all over the internet, only furthering the notion that the internet is no longer the source for valid information and honest partnership that it once was, and more and more is becoming some dump site for bullshit and silliness know this: mine and KP’s opinions really are that important, we are always right about everything, and we actually are the end-all-be-all of cool and not cool.

Period.

So, before you clear your screen and crack your knuckles and go back to responding to your desperate high school guidance counselor and mail order bride internet friends from the safety of your mom’s basement, bookmark this shit and thank the Gods of Awesomeness that you no longer have to make decisions by yourself.

You’re in good hands now and you can trust us completely.

IMPORTANT NOTE: THIS BLOG IS NOT EMO, SO WHEN WE SAY SOMETHING SUCKS, IT ACTUALLY DOES, IN FACT, SUCK AND WE’RE NOT JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE WE THINK EVERYTHING SUCKS.

Ok, credentials. KP is a tall, hot, chick scientist/movie renting genius and a recovering dutch person with a college degree in Awesomeness Studies and affinity for punching people in the face. She is kind of emo and probably won’t date you. She is right about everything, all the time.

Stef is a self-imposed hippy and future librarian/perverted old lady with a penchant for beer, hockey, and dirty rock music. Her degree is in advanced def jam. She is not emo at all, and has low enough standards that she might date you, but probably not. She has never been dutch in any way, and is also right about everything all of the time.

Now for the contributors. They are just that, contributors. They are those who fancy themselves elitists of some sort, think they can hang, and are mostly sucka free. They most definitely will date you, and probably will take their tops off at the slightest whiff of anything with alcohol or barbeque sauce. I promise, all suckas will be appropriately labeled.

So this is how this thing will work. Me and KP are going to review all kinds of stuff around this little slice of purgatory known as Grand Rapids, so you all will know for sure this time whether whatever-it-is truly is cool, or whether the person who told you about it is actually not cool. You don’t even have to thank us, but feedback is always appreciated so if there is something that you want to know in complete confidence that the reply will be nerd proof, non-biased, and 100% accurate, please let us know. And remember, we’re always right about everything, and we are here to help.

I can imagine we’ll need to explain ourselves better for this one…