Stef and KP attend 101.3’s First Annual Brew Ha Ha. Needs more Brew, and definitely more Ha Ha.
First of all, beer and humor should go together. Humor doesn’t even have to really be humorous, as long as there’s beer involved. After paying fifteen dollars (plus a finski for parking) to get in and not be allowed back out for food, here are a few suggestions for making your own sponsored event worth the fifteen dollars and synthetic-cheezy nachos:
* If beer is advertised, especially in the TITLE OF THE EVENT, there should be beer present. Enough beer present for the whole night, and for everyone there.
* If you’re going to charge for “live entertainment” at the caliber of which was present, you’re going to need a lot more beer.
* A middle-age man running around making crappy gay jokes in a lavender leotard showing his ass crack is entertaining, but not entertainment. Even in the getup, that guy needs some new material. I know that gay men have anal sex. Got it.
* Demanding that I pay an additional 5 spot for a 12 oz. Micro brew is one thing, but do not insult me by taking my 5 in exchange for a ticket, that I immediately hand over to (insert generic adjective animal here) brewery guy only to watch him pour a bottle out into my glass. Just don’t. And please don’t tell anyone that I just gave up 5 for a bottle of Leinenkugel. Pouring a bottle in front of me is just a soggy “fuck you for even showing up.” Ouch. Blow me, then ouch.
* Beer tasting should be an experience, not whatever this was. These breweries should be proud of what they do. There should have been brew masters and sales reps present, not a bunch of DeltaPlex employees fumbling with caps and looking at you blankly when you ask if the double or triple is better. I don’t know shit about beer and I was getting blank stares. I should now be well-informed enough to only order your (adjective animal) beer from now on. But I’m not, so it’s back to Miller Lite I guess.
* If you’re trying to get your patrons all fucked up in order for them to enjoy the sub-par entertainment and not laugh in your stupid face that looks like a mix between Micky Rourke and chewed-up steak next time you charge $15 for anything, please make sure that this is your only goal, and there are other fun things for drunks to do than sleep in the
chairs where we were told there would be comedy. They should be drinking without knowing what’s really going on. I got duped into giving up my hard-earned bucks; now dupe me into having fun.
* Do you know how easy it is to make drunken people laugh? Duh! Everything is hilarious to a drunk person, hence we should all be pacing anxiously for next year’s event, and we’re not. Me and KP are practically retarded (especially after a few brewskis) and we still didn’t think that shit was funny. In fact, watching the Bimini Brothers was sad and a little uncomfortable. This was not a good venue for them, and sooner or later, boys, it might be time to hang up your shorts. Write different dick and gay jokes, at least. Instead of taking my top off and screaming for an encore of the “Levitra” song, I really just wanted to go home. Or watch the Wings lose to San Jose (after a commendable and valiant attempt, which we did), and it was still better than the first annual Brew Ha Ha.
Official verdict? LAME. You won’t see us next year. However I did find a nice Brown Ale that I quite enjoyed and KP liked the porter…
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5 comments:
Ladies, I have come back to you because your homeboy Bubba is beginning to creep me the fuck out. His obsession with mullets has driven me to point were I think we need to perform an intervention. Anyways, don't let the shittyness of the Brew Ha Ha drive you back to crappy domestic beer land, get your ass down to New Holland Brewery and try their Cabin Fever brown ale. One drink will have you ladies auditioning for the next season of "Rock of Love". If I ever see Bret Michaels walking down the street I'm going to pull his hair.
Congrats on graduating.
Hey Josh,
I second your sentiments about Bubba's blog. I can't seem to bring myself to even check for updates anymore.
Oh and I have to say, though I am not as much of a beer buff as Stef, but I had the Cabin Fever at the Brew Ha Ha and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I must then suggest one to you. If you get a chance, head over to Graydon's Crossing this week. They have a beer called Victory Storm King on Cask *gasp* because apparently, according to our server, you can only ever get this beer by the bottle. It was, in Stef's words, "Heaven."
I liked it very much too.
Oh and Bret Michaels. If you happen to be nearby when we both see him, I'll hold him down while someone pops his colagen implanted lips and writes Pussy in sharpie on his forhead.
WORD!!
~KP
Victory storm king was bad ass.
Thanks.
Uh-oh, here we go again! Josh, I'm glad you're still checking out my blog, but tell me on there if you don't like it.
And don't let KP fool you. She was lovingly terrified by the guy with the crazy back hair. She even commented on it, so I know she likes it in the way someone would like porn with commentary.
But as far as beer goes, this one's a bit on the fruity side for me, but lately I've been drawn to Dark Horse's Raspberry Wheat. Careful, though, it may be sweet, but it's got a good kick if you're not careful.
'Nuff said. The Bubba has spoken.
gotta thumbs down the Dark Horse. They've got much better brews than the wheat. I jut had the Boffo Brown and it ruled bigtime. I mean bigtime. But yeah, it'll catch you fast. Also, founders has Double Trouble on tap and it's goooood. Love.
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