Here we go now, in observance of Springtime, and the complaint that there is nothing to do in this town but sit at the bar. That in fact, is true, but here’s a list nonetheless.
47 things that are delicious in Grand Rapids (in no particular order):
1) Marge’s doughnut den. Yes I know it’s a dutch thing but it’s gooood.
2) Founder’s Rubeus when it’s warm outside
3) Sami’s Pita House, Sami’s with lots of that sexy sauce and red spice, whatever that is
4) The short drive to Holland’s tunnel park
5) The fact that despite all the churches all over the place there is still a successful burlesque show
6) The senior PGA tour that used to be held annually at Egypt Valley. Freddy kicks total ass.
7) Chuck lives here
8) Breakfast all day at Brandywine
9) Everything about Festival downtown. 1st weekend in June. Except that deep fried beef egg thing, I don’t think that’s delicious at all.
10) Sitting in section 121 for the Grand Rapids Griffins. Hockey town West!
11) The beards. There are a lot of ‘em here, I think they trickle down from Canada maybe?
12) French Quarter at Kava house
13) Blueberry pancakes, Two Eggs, the Westsider at Wolfgang’s (for the fullest pleasure, see #2 first)
14) Sweet Japonic
15) The little stickers they give you at GRAM (mine tasted lemony!)
16) In preparation for their current tour, Motley Crue making a public apology for the all-over crappiness of their Circus of Pain DVD, which was shot at Grand Rapids’ own Van Andel Arena.
17) Motley Crue’s Circus of Pain DVD
18) Al Green spent his formative years here
19) Mango salsa/chutney whatever they call it at Grayden’s Crossing
20) Mini p’s (about the size of a CD)
21) Captain Sundae (en route to Holland’s Tunnel Park)
22) D-Rock’s mom’s oatmeal cookies
23) Kafta and mint iced tea at Osta’s in East Grand Rapids
24) Old Style and cigarettes in East Town
25) Calamari at Leo’s, and at Louis Benton (I think it’s the same recipe?)
26) Mark at Bull’s Head Tavern (make sure he’s fresh though)
27) Blues on the Mall (as long as its not Country on the Mall, boo)
28) Eddy Money calling Grand Rapids a “sexy town” while he was hammered at Celebration on the Grand
29) Burritos at the Grand Villa Dungeon (or the Beltline Bar if you are looking for more deliciousness)
30) Eating burritos at a place with a name like that (see #29)
31) Yesterdog, Yesterdog, Yesterdog. See #24
32) Michael Buble calling Grand Rapids a beautiful town because of the FCC’s current ban on “sexy”
33) Boy’s track season in East Grand Rapids
34) Veggie hash at Gaia
35) Some guy from New Orleans who has apparently never been to New Orleans telling me that Eastown is just like New Orleans
36) News 8’s Juliette Dragos wasted at Ucello’s saying what a (*hick*) sexy town Grand Rapids is, not catching the irony that she was, in fact, doing an unintentional Ron Burgundy impersonation
37) The bartender at Gardella’s with the Dylan Thomas tattoo, even though the verdict is not officially out on if he actually knows Dylan Thomas, or he just got that line off an episode of CSI
38) They (to my knowledge) have never filmed an episode of Animal Precinct here
39) Cottage Burger at the Cottage Bar
40) The amazing artwork of the amazing Tom Otterness scattered around downtown a few summers ago, that was the best idea this town has had so far, bring ‘em back!
41) WMCAT
42) The Medical ½ -mile (soon to be full mile, I assume), the fact that they can build a world class, state-of-the-art hospital/research facility in twenty minutes while you watch, before you’ve even finished your $12 soup from Urban Mill
43) When Prince came for 2005’s Musicology tour, the employees of Van Andel Arena were not allowed to swear or smoke in or near the building, and when he was personally escorted by way of motorized Prince-mobile and a team of burley, axe-wielding Viking bodyguards, they had to turn around so as not to look at him. He did not call Grand Rapids a sexy town, but implied that if it was dark and he was really drunk, we might have a shot
44) 50 year old German beer at Martha’s Vineyard, and the sign on it that says “you can’t handle her”
45) right when it starts to get warm like this
46) the Gilmore concert series (Google it)
47) Tshirtsizeawesome.blogspot.com
7) Chuck lives here
8) Breakfast all day at Brandywine
9) Everything about Festival downtown. 1st weekend in June. Except that deep fried beef egg thing, I don’t think that’s delicious at all.
10) Sitting in section 121 for the Grand Rapids Griffins. Hockey town West!
11) The beards. There are a lot of ‘em here, I think they trickle down from Canada maybe?
12) French Quarter at Kava house
13) Blueberry pancakes, Two Eggs, the Westsider at Wolfgang’s (for the fullest pleasure, see #2 first)
14) Sweet Japonic
15) The little stickers they give you at GRAM (mine tasted lemony!)
16) In preparation for their current tour, Motley Crue making a public apology for the all-over crappiness of their Circus of Pain DVD, which was shot at Grand Rapids’ own Van Andel Arena.
17) Motley Crue’s Circus of Pain DVD
18) Al Green spent his formative years here
19) Mango salsa/chutney whatever they call it at Grayden’s Crossing
20) Mini p’s (about the size of a CD)
21) Captain Sundae (en route to Holland’s Tunnel Park)
22) D-Rock’s mom’s oatmeal cookies
23) Kafta and mint iced tea at Osta’s in East Grand Rapids
24) Old Style and cigarettes in East Town
25) Calamari at Leo’s, and at Louis Benton (I think it’s the same recipe?)
26) Mark at Bull’s Head Tavern (make sure he’s fresh though)
27) Blues on the Mall (as long as its not Country on the Mall, boo)
28) Eddy Money calling Grand Rapids a “sexy town” while he was hammered at Celebration on the Grand
29) Burritos at the Grand Villa Dungeon (or the Beltline Bar if you are looking for more deliciousness)
30) Eating burritos at a place with a name like that (see #29)
31) Yesterdog, Yesterdog, Yesterdog. See #24
32) Michael Buble calling Grand Rapids a beautiful town because of the FCC’s current ban on “sexy”
33) Boy’s track season in East Grand Rapids
34) Veggie hash at Gaia
35) Some guy from New Orleans who has apparently never been to New Orleans telling me that Eastown is just like New Orleans
36) News 8’s Juliette Dragos wasted at Ucello’s saying what a (*hick*) sexy town Grand Rapids is, not catching the irony that she was, in fact, doing an unintentional Ron Burgundy impersonation
37) The bartender at Gardella’s with the Dylan Thomas tattoo, even though the verdict is not officially out on if he actually knows Dylan Thomas, or he just got that line off an episode of CSI
38) They (to my knowledge) have never filmed an episode of Animal Precinct here
39) Cottage Burger at the Cottage Bar
40) The amazing artwork of the amazing Tom Otterness scattered around downtown a few summers ago, that was the best idea this town has had so far, bring ‘em back!
41) WMCAT
42) The Medical ½ -mile (soon to be full mile, I assume), the fact that they can build a world class, state-of-the-art hospital/research facility in twenty minutes while you watch, before you’ve even finished your $12 soup from Urban Mill
43) When Prince came for 2005’s Musicology tour, the employees of Van Andel Arena were not allowed to swear or smoke in or near the building, and when he was personally escorted by way of motorized Prince-mobile and a team of burley, axe-wielding Viking bodyguards, they had to turn around so as not to look at him. He did not call Grand Rapids a sexy town, but implied that if it was dark and he was really drunk, we might have a shot
44) 50 year old German beer at Martha’s Vineyard, and the sign on it that says “you can’t handle her”
45) right when it starts to get warm like this
46) the Gilmore concert series (Google it)
47) Tshirtsizeawesome.blogspot.com
5 comments:
6) The senior PGA tour held annually at Egypt Valley
- Not delicious since 2004(the last year it was held)
18) Al Green was born here
- Deliciously born in Forrest City, AR (spent part of his childhood here however)
29) Burritos at the Grand Villa Dungeon
- Delicious? Are you F'in with me? Their 'rittos are low grade dogfood compared to The Beltline Bar's!
36) News 8’s Juliette Dragos wasted at Ucello’s saying what a (*hick*) sexy town Grand Rapids is
- The formerly delicious Miss Dragos works at CHANNEL 13!
I'll give you the PGA tour, and Al Green but the burritos are seriously debatable, though I do agree they deserve an honorable mention. And honestly, as long as Juliet Dragos is wasted, does it really matter what small town news channel she's on? I think not. She ain't the next Connie Chung if ya know what I mean.
Thanks for the input though, I will make the necessary changes.
Alright Luke, are you really fact checking this site? Weak, and I'm the one who wrote it! I know this post was dumb, now I feel worse that someone actually read it. Then checked me. Lame. You try coming up with something delicious why don't you, and if Al Green says he's from Grand Rapids (out of his own mouth, homes) than he's from Grand Rapids. I won't argue. The PGA thing is still delicious because if you take Freddy Couple's G&T away from him, he'll chase you all the way to Egypt Valley to get it, by memory alone. Freddy knows this town, and that's delicious enough for me.
11. beards
i just came from canada, and, there are no beards in sight.
20. yes! mini-p's! never seen 'em before in my life until i came to g.r.
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